Dear Damn Diary
by complicated123
Summary: Through diary entries, the passion between James Potter and Lily Evans gets discovered and flourishes. See how it all happens in their eyes! Read and Review! :
1. That Scary First Page

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the setting of the story, just the plot. The rest belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

**Summary: Through diary entries, the passion between James Potter and Lily Evans flourishes. (Like Flourish and Blotts...haha, just kidding) See how it all happened in their eyes.**

**That Scary First Page:**

"Hey, Prongs, check this out!" yelled an excited Sirius Black as he waved a thick pile of parchment in the air with great enthusiasm. Ever since Mooney had told him about "flipbooks", brought into discussion in his Muggle Studies class, he wanted to see one first hand.

"Just a second, damn it!" cried James Potter, putting the finishing touches on his enchanted paper airplane. Love note number one million six thousand eight hundred and ninety seven, ready for takeoff. He blew it into life, sending it to the innocent redhead who sat at the other side of the classroom. She turned her head to take in the sight. He winked, she scowled, his heart raced. The cycle continued.

"PRONGS!"

"PADFOOT!"

"Oi, mate, check this out!" Sirius flipped the pages of the "book" rapidly, in order to show James the action that went on inside. "Snivellus with his head struck by lightning! See! His head's caught on fire with all that grease!"

"Brilliant, Padfoot! Absolutely ace! Now, to turn dreams into reality..."

"Welcome back, class! Are we ready for another fine day of the study of Divination?" The professor called out, her eyes filled with mystery and excitement. Whispers and murmurs filled the classroom; they were not exactly the kind of welcome she had wanted. She coughed and carried on.

"As my sixth years, I am to help you get in tune with your inner selves. I want you all to understand who you are and why you act the way you do-"

Sirius's hand made its way up in the air, startling a lot of the students around him not to mention the professor.

"Yes, Mr. Black?"

"I'm pretty sure I know who I am, professor. My name is Sirius Black and I do things because there is no valid point that says I shouldn't." Laughter spread throughout the classroom, shocking the professor.

"Yes, of course, but I mean you should understand yourself to the point of knowing what you will do in the future, therefore predicting what-"

"So school rules don't exist for you, do they, Black?" replied Lily Evans, the so-called "innocent" redhead who perched herself by the farside of the class. Her response was meant to challenge Sirius, but all those who've tried to challenge him know that he could care less. At least they do now.

"Rules are meant to be broken, Evans."

"Ahem! Anyway, you are all to be assigned journals for the next few months. Now, these journals should be written in daily. Not "should"...they will be. That is an order. I want you to write everything you are feeling, do not leave anything out. Now, after those months, we will analyze the logs and come up with a conclusion and present it to the class. Here are your starting journals. When you finish this journal, you are to go to purchase another one during any of the Hogsmeade trips that are scheduled during the rest of this year." She dropped the hard-bound journals onto her desk, making a loud thump.

"Class dismissed."

* * *

I can't believe I have to write in this bloody diary-type thing for five months. Bugger. What am i supposed to write in this bloody thing? About school? I'm not a lazy arse nancy-boy. About Quidditch? It never sounds as good once you write it down. Not like I've tried, of course... 

About Evans? Hey...this could actually be an interesting assignment.

-James Potter

* * *

I'm not one for writing in journals, but I suppose it shall be done. When I first heard we were to write in these for Divination, I thought Marlene was mistaken. She had heard from Danielle Whriteman, a sixth year Hufflepuff that we would be doing so, but I never trust Danielle. Crowned queen of gossip, that one. The professor's probably gone mad, this seems more like a psychotherapuetic technique than something that we should be doing for Divination... 

Nothing else has really happened today. Potter sent me another bloody love note. I put it in the sink and let it slowly disintegrate into the mini ocean of water. I really do wish he'd focus his attention on some other girl. Wait...that would be wishing this horrible plague onto some poor unsuspecting girl who probably doesn't even deserve it. No, wait. May he please move his affections from me to Danielle Whiteman. Amen. Merlin, you're the only one who can save me now.

-Lily Evans

* * *

**Author's Note: Hey, guys! I'm sorry that this chapter seemed excruciatingly short and kind of slow, but I know for a fact that it will get faster and better! My Microsoft Word is acting up so I'm doing this on notepad, so the whole font thing...yeah, not possible just yet. I hope you liked the chapter and please keep reading!**

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! (oh yeah, and REVIEW!!!)**


	2. A Soap Script

**Disclamer: I don't own any of the things that were thought up by J.K. Rowling. I only own this plot and a couple insignificant characters.**

**Summary: Back up!**

**A Soap Script:**

That dirty, rotten, stinking Potter! He goes around all high and mighty, picking on all the blasted Slytherins and treating women like they're things! He has got _no_ brain whatsoever, that thoroughly incompetent, overly pompous, egotistical berk! I hope he crash lands down from his high horse and bruises his ego. Merlin, I'm going to get back at him. I'm going to get back at him if it's the last thing I do! James Potter must die!

-Lily

* * *

Lily's mad at me. Ok, who am I kidding, she down right wants me murdered. I can see why, but it was an accident! An honest mistake! Anyone would have made it! Sirius would have, so would Peter...uh, definitely not Remus, or Diggory, or Longbottom...fine, just Sirius, Peter, and me! Big deal, it wasn't on purpose. 

Sirius and I just wanted to pick on some Slytherin hide. We just got out of Potions and you know how we always get restless after. We jsut wanted a little name-calling and some jinx-throwing, nothing major. There's nothing like a good jinx between enemies, you know?

Padfoot elbowed me in the side and bellowed,"Sorry excuse for wizards if I ever saw 'em."

"What did you say, Black?" Lucius Malfoy walked up, his evil Slytherin eyes flickering with hate. I felt a load of satisfaction that he hated us. Now we had a mutual relationship-type thing going on.

"Nothing better than a herd of extremely ugly hippogriffs!" I cried, replying to Sirius and ignoring Lucius. I then subtley flicked my wand, hiding it from the Slytherins' eyes.

"You're going to pay, you no good, bloody-" Lucius interrupted himself with a great sqwuak. his fellow morons looked awkwardly at eachother until they all started to sqwuak. Their noses hardened and grew four times their normal size and went all shiny. Their arms were covered in bright orange, fluffy feathers that flapped in the afternoon wind.

"Why, Prongs, I see the resemblance now!" We gazed over our handywork. I must admit, I was quite proud that the prank pulled through. It was a minor one, but one can't be too careful with these things. There wasn't a teacher in sight. Vengence at last!

And that's when Snivellus came barging through the corridor with Lily in tow. Now, normally I'd be glad to see her, to exchange a few (if I do say so myself) clever words and flirtatious glances, but seeing her follow Snape so closely wanted me to punch the prat's face in. Snivellus, that is, not Lily.

"Oi, Snivellus, out of my way, you slimey bastard." The greased up monkey was standing right in front of me, his crow-nose practically gouging my eyes out. That little bugger...

"Potter! What is the meaning of this?"

"Why, hello, Evans. Can't you notice a study party when you see one? We were practicing human trasfigurations-"

"If you arent' going to tell me the truth, Potter, I'm giong to have to transfigure your bloody arse into something that'll make it so damn impossible for you to eer sit down again! Tell me what is going on!"

"You can do whatever you want with my arse, Evans. I knew you were hot for me." Her face grew as red as her face and I could practically feel the heat that was rising from where I was standing. The fire in here eyes danced menacingly, challenging me with its dance of fury.

Pretty clever, eh? Nice and smooth. She seemed so livid though. Oh, she looks absolutley gorgeous when she's angry. I wanted to kiss her senseless but she would've killed me. I do mean literally.

"Shut up, Potter! NOw what did you do?"

You'd think that Sirius would've bailed me out by now, but he was too busy chatting up some fifth year at the end of the corridor. Lousy friend, that one.

"He turned them into bird creatures, isn't that obvious? Just look at them, Lily!" Snivellus grabbed Lily's arm to show her. Sure enough, the Slytherins were now pecking the ground in search of food.

"Ruddy snitch you are, Snivellus. Go off and tell your mum now. I bet she hasn't heard."

"Lay off him, Potter, and stop acting like a child!"

"Yeah, Potter, you are such the toddler."

"Shut up, Snivellus, who asked you for your opinion? It's bad enough I have to look at your damn face!" And with taht, I sent a concealment charm hiws way to hide his ugly head.

Only, I didn't plan on him noticing so quickly.

Or that he'd duck.

Or that it would hit Lily's head instead.

She didn't seem to notice as it hit her. She just kept on complaining to Mildred Anglorn about how incompetent I was. We all just stared at her as she yelled at me, undid the spell, and walked away. Of course, I didn't really know how to look at her since I couldn't see her face, so I jut pretended it was there. You have to know how hard I had to force myself not to laugh. It was so bloody hard.

Oh, hey! A school owl just came in through the window and dropped off a letter from Lily. Maybe she wants to take a raincheck on her date with my arse. It really wants her to say "yes". It hopes she won't let it down.

-James

* * *

I sent it. Potter won't know what's coming his way. -insert evil laughter here- 

Oh, it seems I haven't recorded why I'm so upset. It has to do with Potter, Alex Deerborn, and me. Yes, _the_ Alex Deerborn. _The_ Alex Deerborn that made my heart sing every morning. _The_ Alex Deerborn that made me want to just run and hug him tight even though the doesn't know me at all. _The_ Alex Deerboron that made me think up crazy schemes to get him alone. Please notice the past tense.

Anyway, after the fiasco outside the Potions room, Alice's words kept going through my head. During class, she had advised me to propose my undying devotion to "_the_ Alex".

"It's the only way to make anything happen," She said as she coped down the chart from the blackboard.

I was taking this under consideration when Severus found me to report a run-in with none other than public menace number one, James Potter. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have followed him.

Anyway, after cooling the fight off, I headed off to the quidditch pitch to find Alex. It was Ravenclaw's turn to practice at the pitch tonight. I gathered all my courage and decided to put my heart on my seleve. I sauntered over and tapped him on his shoulder.

"Hey, Alex, I was wondering...if maybe you wanted to go to Hogsmeade together during the next trip?" I choked out, my nerves rapidly zooming around and around and around...

"Hey, yeah-"Alex turned around and his eyes widened until they were as big as saucers. His skin paled and he started edging away. "Um...I already have a date...let me see if I'm free some other time, okay?" The captain blew his whistle and called for a meeting. "I've got to go." With that, _the_ Alex Deerborn ran away from me. He literally ran. Away from me. As if I had the black plague or Something. I spun on my heel and ran all the way to the girls' dorms.

I cried all the way there. As I passed people in t he hall, they all gave me the same slack expression with wide eyes. _What is wrong with everyone today_, I wondered as I went ot the bathroom to rinse up.

That's when I saw it. My headless body facing the mirror, looking like it just popped out of a horror movie. _Oh no_, I screamed in my head, _NO, NO, NO!!!_

"POTTER!"

-Lily

* * *

She turned me into a damn girl! Bloody Evans put a curse or something on the envelope and when I opened it, I turned into a girl version of myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking like a chick or anything (Thank Merlin) but it's bloody inconvenient. How can I play quidditch now? I've lost my known balance; I have to find it again! And locker rooms and dorms...hey, this isn't too bad! I can look at myself naked! 

There was a note inside from Lily:

_"I hope this gives you a little more tact."_

_-Lily_

Luckily she doesn't know that this punishment isn't so bad.

Crap, Sirius has found me and is starting to hit on me. His hand is on my thigh! Mayday, Mayday! Someone get me out of here!

-James

* * *

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading! I tried to update as soon as I could! I hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW...AND REVIEW!**


	3. He's a What Now?

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of J.K. Rowling's ideas, thoughts, or characters. I just own this plot!**

**Author's Note: I know it's been a long time and I might be a little rusty, but I do hope that you all will forgive me and tell me what you think! Enjoy! **

**He's a What Now?:**

I never want to speak about being a girl ever again. That is why I boycotted this damn journal. Those torn out pages...never existed. This journal feels a little lighter? You're imagining things. All I'm going to say is that I'm not going to let Evans off the hook.

With all things concerning Evans, I'd also like to say that she is one lucky girl. I learned a few things when I was a girl and let me just say that I know how to get her on my side.

-James

* * *

Potter started acting really strange in Charms today. He didn't even try to start a teacup war with Sirius! He just stared at me for the entire two hours, which doesn't sound all that unlike him, but he never misses a chance to duel with teacups. Not like I've been watching him or anything...

Honestly, I'm a little worried that he might get me back for my "girl" charm. I have to say though, my spell was pretty smooth! I might not be as enlightened as the master (roll eyes here) when it comes to Transfiguration, but I must admit that I'm fairly good when it comes to research.

URGH! I wonder what that insolent berk is up to. There's a tiny voice in my head that's just calling out to me, mocking me, worrying me to no end. I'm fairly positive that he'll do something drastic and it won't be long before one of us draws blood from the other. All I want is a little peace and serenity! Is that too much to ask in this world?

-Lily

* * *

We were almost given detentions today. Our brilliant Charms professor seemed to have had enough of Sirius and James's teacup wars. Shards of porcelain and glass littered our desks and covered everything that was placed within a ten foot radius. One jagged piece seemed to have flown so far that it scraped Marvin Gladley, who sat all the way on the other side of the room. The berk had the audacity to call attention to the matter. Merlin, he was only bleeding a little! Not enough to cause any serious inflictions!

I gave the dynamic duo as sharp of a look as I could and turned back around. I'm a prefect now; I can't afford to let a single black mark make its way on my record. I have enough problems as it is, thank you very much.

So, we were sent off to the headmaster's office. All four of us Marauders, as Marvin Gladley didn't seem to care who really was in the wrong.

"So, anything happen to you lately," asked Sirius, sauntering alongside me without a care in the world. All these threats of transcripts and permanent records seemed to bore him.

"Nothing much, Padfoot, just off to get a detention. What'll it be this week? I think we might have to make another date with the trophy room and a couple of sponges," I replied, digging my hands in my pockets. The autumn breeze chilled us to the bone but we kept our pace. What sane person would hurry to the headmaster's office after getting into trouble?

"Sounds saucy," commented James, ruffling his hair. His laugh was with us but by the look in his eyes, I knew he was thinking of something else.

"James? Lily trouble?"

"Oh, you don't want to go there, Mooney." Sirius shook his head, his long black hair waving with a delicate grace.

"What happened?"

"Nothing..."

"Prongs."

"What?"

"Well...tell me what happened!"

"It was nothing, alright? Would you just drop it?"

"Tell me!"

"She turned his scrawny arse into a girl!" Sirius bellowed as he clutched his stomach and laughed. I tried to keep a straight face but the edges of my mouth just kept twitching upward. Soon, we were both almost rolling on the floor with laughter. Images of James in a dress with long hair and make-up...I swear, I can't help but laugh out loud right now!

"Yeah, well, Sirius tried to make a pass at me."

The laughter stopped.

Clearing my throat, I asked, "What?"

"Hey, I didn't know it was James, alright? I just saw a hot girl on James's bed and I just went on auto pilot. I couldn't help myself!"

"Prongs?"

"Yeah, Remus?"

"At least you know that you would've made a gorgeous girl!" Sirius and I laughed, clutching James's arms for support for the rest of the trip to the headmaster's office.

With the headmaster, we were let off with a warning. However, with James, we weren't so lucky. I'm sure you'd be as ashamed as I am when you hear that I am writing all this while wearing a floral dress and heels. Prongs thought it would be funny to give us some time to...let's just say, explore our feminine side. He also hid the book that contains the charm to reverse it. I think I can speak for both Sirius and myself when I say that there is no friend out there like James Potter. Cheers!

-Remus

* * *

I hate being a girl. I hate writing in a damn diary. I hate Prongs! This is so awkward and creepy! I'm looking in the mirror and I see this hot chick, but I can't do anything about it! Does anyone know how absolutely unfulfilling this is?

-Sirius

* * *

It seems to be a common thing in the Gryffindor tower to experience sex changes.

Damn that foul, pus-headed Potter! I had even started feeling sorry for him! He sent me an owl and I opened it! I felt so sorry; he looked so strange this morning, constantly staring at me with a cast-off look in his eyes. So I opened his bloody letter and now I'm a bloody boy! It's so weird! I have...extra appendages and it's just...I HATE POTTER! I JUST HATE HIS STUPID EGO AND HIS FOUL LITTLE MIND! POTTER HAS TO CHANGE ME NOW OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!

-Lily

P.S. Do you know what his little note said?

_"Lily, I've made these arrangements so that if you ever turn me back into a girl, we can still have a go. XO Love."_

_-James_

**Author's Note: A little reviewing never hurt anybody! Please tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome!**


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